If You Observed Yourself, Would You Like…Yourself?

At this moment, I’m in my pajamas (It’s 0900, give me a break).  They are blue with the fish from Dr. Seuss’ “One Fish, Two Fish” on them.  My hair is still in the braid I wore to bed last night, a little messy.  I’m sitting on the couch, with bare feet on the coffee table.  My black Siamese cat, MK, is curled up to my left.  I’m slouching so my arms can comfortably rest as I type on my laptop.  One arm is rested across MK’s back.

I tell you this so you can get a good mental picture of me in typical blogging mode.  I don’t always wear my pajamas, but the cat/bare feet/couch positioning is nearly always the same.  You’re not here, but you can observe me.  Wait, I’ll post a picture so you can see.

Blog-cam

There I am.

So I was thinking, if I could watch myself and evaluate my attitude and  behavior in the same way that I watch others, would I like what I saw?  What about you?  If you could watch yourself on a little hidden camera, would you be proud of your behavior, attitudes and actions?

I’d like to say I would be, but I can think of things I’ve said and done that I am less than proud of.  It’s an area I can improve upon.  I think it’s a fair goal to have, to live your life so that you’d be proud of what you said and did if you watched it later.

I have an odd perspective on the world.  I am always “in my head,” thinking and evaluating.  I feel very much like an outsider in every social situation.  I am an introvert.

If I were an animal, I’d be a cat.  I’m gregarious and affectionate on my own terms, but don’t expect me to come when called.  Or, more accurately in my case, don’t expect me to answer the phone when called.  I hate those who think that you must answer the phone when they call you.  They’re nearly as bad as people who show up on your doorstep unannounced.  Rude.

Right, back to the topic at hand.

I’m an observer.  I like to watch people, but find myself disgusted and annoyed by them at the same time.  People are strange, inconsiderate, abrasive, and generally idiotic.  If they could watch themselves later, I don’t think they’d like what they saw.

Because of this, I am not a “joiner.”  I prefer to associate with those I feel pride in knowing.  Such people are few and far between.

People creep me out a little, with their gross habits and funny noises and thoughtless

Rude People Too

remarks.  This might be the reason that I’ve spent my entire life holding everyone I meet at arm’s length.  Stay OUT of my bubble, rude weirdos!  I talk when I choose to talk, socialize when and with whom I choose to socialize.

I still like to go to the airport or a Greyhound bus terminal to observe these people.  I have no idea why, since I usually leave rather annoyed by humanity in general.  Even more interesting is to watch them in their yard or get a peek at them as you walk by their houses…in their natural habitat.  I guess that makes me a bit of a recreational voyeur.

Like fingernails on a chalkboard, the obnoxious things that people do really grate on my nerves. They hit others while they talk, chew with their mouths open, say “I want” or “gimme” instead of “please, may I have.”  They complain about the rudeness of their children after screaming at that same child to “shut up” or “get the hell down from there right NOW!”  They enable people around them to treat them inappropriately, then complain about it.  They ignore others around them in public places, leaving their trash everywhere, screwing up the environment by picking or treading all over the foliage.  They bang on the glass at the zoo or aquarium (where is specifically says not to do so).  They touch without asking, interrupt, push, poke, prod, and completely ignore common sense.

The list goes on and on and on.  I’m sure you can think of little rudenesses and annoyances to add.

How can they not know they are doing these things?

Back inside my head:  I think that many people do not actively monitor their behavior, attitudes, and actions in the way that I do (most of the time anyway, even I slip on occasion).  Their behavior is a knee-jerk, baser desires-driven response, not a critically thought-out or considerate response.

But I also recognize and appreciate that there are a few out there like me, who really care about the impact of their words and behavior.  Who recognize the ripple effect felt by a simple smile and “excuse me, I’m sorry” when they accidentally bump into someone.  Who know that living in this world means sharing it and respecting the others who would like to live in it peacefully.

But since those people are so few these days, please…just leave me the heck alone.


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I Miss Real News

Okay, our TV wasn't quite this cool

When I was a kid, every night at 6pm, (right after “Jeopardy”) my grandmother, great-grandmother and I would watch the news.  The news went in the same order every night, the top stories, local news, sports and weather.  After that, the national news came on, then “Wheel of Fortune.”  Sweet, sweet memories.  Thank you, Pat Sajak, for teaching me about vowels before I ever learned about them in public school.

Right.  Anyway…

I was reminiscing today about the news of my childhood.  It was so different from the “news” today.  In this world of 24-hour, instant gratification and instant information, a real reporter is hard to find.  When you turn on one of the major news outlets (who will remain nameless here so I don’t end up being sued), what you find today are talk show hosts entertaining their audiences by opining on topics which are lacking in substance or fact.

What happened to the reporters?

"Jeopardy!? Heck yeah!"

Reporting the news used to be an art.  A reporter was to explain the situation fully, yet succinctly, and include none of his or her own opinion or bias in doing so.  It was once up to the viewer to interject their own personal opinions as they saw fit.

I am thoroughly annoyed by the lack of consideration that networks now have for their audience.  I am perfectly capable of forming my own opinions without having to filter the story out of the biased ramblings of a commentator (they cannot call them “newscasters” or “reporters” anymore, because they simply aren’t).  We can hardly tell what is true or false on these news channels anymore…and the only way we can determine what actually happens in the House or Senate is to watch it happening directly on CSPAN!  Unfortunately, I don’t always have time to fall asleep…er…I mean watch this particular channel so I can report the news back to myself.  And I shouldn’t have to…that’s what reporters and newscasters are for!

So, this is my plea:  If any of my faithful readers are aware of a real, non-biased reporter or newscaster (from ANY type of media outlet), please…tell me who they are!  I need my real news fix.

We Miss You, Mr. Cronkite

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The Forbidden Topics Part 2

It’s been a while hasn’t it?

I have plenty of excuses for not blogging, but let’s skip those, okay?

Today we’ll be discussing selfishness.  Don’t cringe.  Selfishness is not a bad word.  In fact, I’d argue that selfishness is a key part of maintaining a successful relationship.

Today I was wondering:  What’s the deal with “bad boys?”  It seems that some women have a habit of falling for the bad boys, and the nice guys are forever feeling left out.  But those bad boys are usually jerks, right?  So what’s the frackin’ attraction, hm?  Do nice guys have…or even deserve a chance?

Here’s my take:

Bad boys maintain a firm hold on their individuality and masculinity, flatly refusing to give it up.  Nice guys are more willing to become a door-mat if it means that they will not be alone.  They tend to tone down their masculinity so women won’t find them a threat, not that they’d know how to be a threat even if they wanted to be.   So what’s the deal?  Why are more women willing to be hurt by a bad boy than pick the nice guy?

I’ve figured it out.  Ready?  Here it is:  Women want someone who is a bit selfish.

Selfish? Most likely. But how much?

The typical bad boys are plenty selfish, right?  So why don’t those relationships work out?  And why do women who already have nice, non-selfish guys, end up dumping them for a bad boy (and then end up dumping the bad boys too)?

Well, put simply, it’s all about levels of selfishness. Women are Goldilocks when it comes to selfishness (and guys should be too).  We don’t want someone who is too selfish, or not selfish enough, we want a guy who is somewhere in the middle.  The guy who is just right.

Selfish, but not irritatingly so.

I feel like a goober for having just written that, but it’s accurate.  Moving on.

You see, we all want a relationship with someone who cares about their health, their physique, their dress.  Someone who takes pride in their education and ability.  Someone who strives for something. Drive is sexy and highly attractive.  And, in order to care about those things, that someone must be a little selfish about them.

Those bad boys with their cocky attitudes are selfish enough to care about and show passion for something.  They might be competitive, which exhibits selfishness plus confidence, so that lures in many an interested lady.  The problems arise when the level of selfishness exceeds what is necessary to maintain those things.  Too much selfishness is a bad thing.  Too much selfishness means that they lack the ability to consider things and people outside of their own circle of interest.  In short, they can’t multitask.

So off we go to date a “nice guy.”  And we find that we become bored with the nice guy…because he’s just not selfish enough!  Sure, it’s amazing in the beginning to have a guy who lavishes us with attention to the point of self deprecation, but it gets old fast.  He doesn’t pay enough attention to himself, his goals, or his own ego, and many women become bored.  They feel the need to improve him, to train him to be more selfish; because not enough selfishness is also a bad thing.

Replace "bad" with "selfish."

Being in a relationship is not about taking two people and mooshing them into one freaky-in-love superhuman.  When one person in the relationship is putty in the others hands, the respect for individual personalities, which initially forged the attraction, is compromised.  Selfishness ensures that individual personalities are maintained, and respect for that individuality is key to relationship success.

So, dear readers, I’ve missed your thoughts and opinions.  What do you think?  Where do you want your relationship on the spectrum of selfishness…and why?

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Twisty Thursday-The Forbidden Topics

Yes, I might have been doing some of this...

Hello, friends.  It’s been a while, hasn’t it?  I’ve missed you!

So I’m back at it.  I’ve been busy, had writer’s block, and have generally not felt like blogging.  That’s the great thing about a blog…you can choose NOT to blog if you don’t want to.

Today I wanted to poke around in some of the “forbidden” topics.  You know the ones:  Politics, sex, religion, gender and race discrimination.

I don’t like the idea of limiting discussion on any topic, as long as the discussion remains thoughtful and fallacy-free.  I’ve been on blogs and forums whose site policies strictly forbid and discussion on these topics.  I think this is silly.  Don’t punish the topic, punish those who cannot remain objective and provide intelligent insight into the issue.

Where are you? I'm due North.

So, today the topic is politics.  I’d like to know why it is that you believe what you believe without making ANY attacks or comments against any other political party.  What makes you feel that your platform is the right platform?  What do you wish people knew about your platform that they just don’t seem to understand?  Here’s me:

I am a Libertarian. Please note that a Libertarian is not a variation of “liberal” or “liberalism.” That’s a horse of a completely different color.

I believe that we as individuals have the right and ability to govern ourselves without the intervention of others (including the government), and that this right is what our country was founded on (NOT religion).  I believe that no individual has the right to infringe upon the rights of another.  My choices are my own and no other person or government ought to have a say in them.

Yep. I'm prickly.

If there is one thing that I think every American ought to understand about politics, it is this:  The USA is not a democracy.  Democracy stomps all over Constitutionally protected rights.  It imposes the will of a majority but does not consider the rights of the minority.  A majority vote does not equate to “right.”  Consider Jim Crow laws.  Marvin Simkin wrote “Democracy is not freedom. Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to eat for lunch. Freedom comes from the recognition of certain rights which may not be taken, not even by a 99% vote.”

I believe that small government is the best government.  Less government means less ability to infringe upon individual an citizen’s rights.  I am a grown woman.  I do not need a bunch of rich lawyers who are worried only about their next election to be telling me what I may or may not do.  I do not need to be governed by legislation which would lower the standard of living for EVERYONE in order to narrow the gap between the very rich and the poorest poor.  I am neither, but I recognize the absolute fallacy in such thought.

I think that those who do not contribute or who make poor choices should be allowed to fail (with very few exceptions).  Real failure is an exceptional motivator.  Starvation even more so.  When the government is like an overprotective parent, always snowplowing away every failure, what can be expected other than that the person who fails will not work as hard to avoid future failures?  Sometimes life sucks.  Sometimes it doesn’t.  Adapt, overcome, and improvise.  Suck it up and drive on.

I could go on and on about politics, but much of what I believe can be found via the link I posted above.  And I’d like to read what you believe.

True understanding and thoughtful progress comes through fair, peaceful, and considerate discourse.  I’ve “talked” long enough…now it’s your turn.

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Lazy Weekends and Pretzelly Procrastination

I admit it, I have a problem.

I started this weekend with the best of intentions, just as I always do.  By Sunday Monday Today, the house was supposed to be cleaner, the laundry folded, all of the Christmas decorations shoved back under the stairs, and several disorganized areas around the house were supposed to be organized.

Well, some of that happened, and some did not.

Saturday was quite possibly the laziest I’ve had in a very long time.  Much of it was spent watching episodes of Dexter: Season 4.

 

Which I highly recommend, by the way.

Sunday, I ended up reading and doing more nothing.

Monday…well, I did do some of the stuff I needed to do, but didn’t actually get out of my PJ’s to do it.

So here I am.  It’s Tuesday afternoon and I have managed to procrastinate on the writing of my blog (and folding laundry) for FIVE WHOLE DAYS.

Is that a record or something?

But I am NOT at all proud of this.  And I need help.  Admitting you have a problem is the first step in defeating it, right?

What do YOU do to keep from procrastinating?  How do you manage to juggle all the balls

Just call me "Princess Procrastina"

you have to keep in the air without saying “fuck it” and dropping 3 or 4?

I need help.  So please, tell me how you do it.

And, if you happen to live in mid-Missouri and are extremely handy at organization, my house and I could use you.  Bring a pointy stick…you might need it to prod my butt off the couch.

 

 

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