If You Observed Yourself, Would You Like…Yourself?

At this moment, I’m in my pajamas (It’s 0900, give me a break).  They are blue with the fish from Dr. Seuss’ “One Fish, Two Fish” on them.  My hair is still in the braid I wore to bed last night, a little messy.  I’m sitting on the couch, with bare feet on the coffee table.  My black Siamese cat, MK, is curled up to my left.  I’m slouching so my arms can comfortably rest as I type on my laptop.  One arm is rested across MK’s back.

I tell you this so you can get a good mental picture of me in typical blogging mode.  I don’t always wear my pajamas, but the cat/bare feet/couch positioning is nearly always the same.  You’re not here, but you can observe me.  Wait, I’ll post a picture so you can see.

Blog-cam

There I am.

So I was thinking, if I could watch myself and evaluate my attitude and  behavior in the same way that I watch others, would I like what I saw?  What about you?  If you could watch yourself on a little hidden camera, would you be proud of your behavior, attitudes and actions?

I’d like to say I would be, but I can think of things I’ve said and done that I am less than proud of.  It’s an area I can improve upon.  I think it’s a fair goal to have, to live your life so that you’d be proud of what you said and did if you watched it later.

I have an odd perspective on the world.  I am always “in my head,” thinking and evaluating.  I feel very much like an outsider in every social situation.  I am an introvert.

If I were an animal, I’d be a cat.  I’m gregarious and affectionate on my own terms, but don’t expect me to come when called.  Or, more accurately in my case, don’t expect me to answer the phone when called.  I hate those who think that you must answer the phone when they call you.  They’re nearly as bad as people who show up on your doorstep unannounced.  Rude.

Right, back to the topic at hand.

I’m an observer.  I like to watch people, but find myself disgusted and annoyed by them at the same time.  People are strange, inconsiderate, abrasive, and generally idiotic.  If they could watch themselves later, I don’t think they’d like what they saw.

Because of this, I am not a “joiner.”  I prefer to associate with those I feel pride in knowing.  Such people are few and far between.

People creep me out a little, with their gross habits and funny noises and thoughtless

Rude People Too

remarks.  This might be the reason that I’ve spent my entire life holding everyone I meet at arm’s length.  Stay OUT of my bubble, rude weirdos!  I talk when I choose to talk, socialize when and with whom I choose to socialize.

I still like to go to the airport or a Greyhound bus terminal to observe these people.  I have no idea why, since I usually leave rather annoyed by humanity in general.  Even more interesting is to watch them in their yard or get a peek at them as you walk by their houses…in their natural habitat.  I guess that makes me a bit of a recreational voyeur.

Like fingernails on a chalkboard, the obnoxious things that people do really grate on my nerves. They hit others while they talk, chew with their mouths open, say “I want” or “gimme” instead of “please, may I have.”  They complain about the rudeness of their children after screaming at that same child to “shut up” or “get the hell down from there right NOW!”  They enable people around them to treat them inappropriately, then complain about it.  They ignore others around them in public places, leaving their trash everywhere, screwing up the environment by picking or treading all over the foliage.  They bang on the glass at the zoo or aquarium (where is specifically says not to do so).  They touch without asking, interrupt, push, poke, prod, and completely ignore common sense.

The list goes on and on and on.  I’m sure you can think of little rudenesses and annoyances to add.

How can they not know they are doing these things?

Back inside my head:  I think that many people do not actively monitor their behavior, attitudes, and actions in the way that I do (most of the time anyway, even I slip on occasion).  Their behavior is a knee-jerk, baser desires-driven response, not a critically thought-out or considerate response.

But I also recognize and appreciate that there are a few out there like me, who really care about the impact of their words and behavior.  Who recognize the ripple effect felt by a simple smile and “excuse me, I’m sorry” when they accidentally bump into someone.  Who know that living in this world means sharing it and respecting the others who would like to live in it peacefully.

But since those people are so few these days, please…just leave me the heck alone.


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About DrPretzel

Student of philosophy and medicine, mother of 2 Creatures of Mass Destruction (a.k.a. "boys"), Soldier, sister, daughter, friend, cat person, social inept, INTJ, blah, blah, blah...are you even reading this?
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7 Responses to If You Observed Yourself, Would You Like…Yourself?

  1. K. Syrah says:

    I take my caffeine in pill form now!

  2. Charisse says:

    This is a topic i have been thinking over recently myself. I gave myself the last month of school to focus on getting those dang papers done. (and i did! -thanks to some serious support, MKJM & RSS!) And now i’ve given myself a week to wean off of the energy of school and onto summer time, and i’m transitioning well, i suppose- But beginning next week my summer project is myself and my life. 🙂 Time to be… well not proud, but certainly not embarrassed by what others may see (my home specifically on that) and to live the way i preach. I do okay with the kiddos. They certainly do not run up to strangers for affection -quite the opposite, they hide behind me until they’ve observed my interactions enough to make a decision on the person themselves. And then they tend to simply be polite, say hi -or goodbye- or thank you if the person complements them (and they ARE adorable/beautiful! thank you!) lol
    But for me the work i have to do is to put a little effort into how i treat/take care of myself. Part of my problem is that I consider the house (and some aspects of my children) myself, and then do not put in enough energy into it. Just generally working on all my little flaws. But i’m working on that. And also planning to read more, get into a better routine to exercise and eat better… hopefully by the end of the summer i will be a even more confident person, but we will see. lol

    But your point is excellent. And i agree with most everything you said. It especially drives me up the wall when people complain or laugh about others when they have terrible (or even the same) flaws within themselves. Glass houses, and all…

    But i also try to be understanding. Everyone has flaws, even perfection would be a flaw, if it were possible. lol The trick to survival is surrounding yourself with people who’s flaws you can live with and who love you despite your own!
    Messy hair, pjs, cat fur and all, i still luv you Dr. P! And hope my flaws continue to remain un-agitating to you for quite a while! 😉 haha

    Glad to hear from the pretzel again! Keep on posting! 🙂

  3. Brian Gillum says:

    I saw a Star Bellied Sneech.

    I like this post. I too would like to think that I would like what I saw if I observed myself. But I know I need work on me as well.

    You’re beautiful and if I may br so bold, would smile widely to open my eyes upon you.

  4. K. Syrah says:

    My chief complaint is that I wish I slept less and had more energy (without the help of supplements and caffeine).

    What I despise most about others though, are their children. Little rugrats so deprived of attention that they come up to me, with their grubby hands outstretched waiting for me to play with them. I look back at the parent, back at the kid, back at the parent, knowing that it’s a sign of neglect… going up to a complete stranger and wanting attention? That kid wants it from anywhere, whether it be good or bad.

    People’s kids should not be running around a weight room at the gym. That’s just stupid and dangerous.

    • DrPretzel says:

      I used to think that I hated other people’s kids. I don’t. It’s the parents I despise.

      Children can be a pain in the ass. Unfortunately, parents are MAKING their children this way. Causing them to be so dependent and afraid of everything that they do not know how to find happiness in their own company. There is a balance. Parents should not shower their kids with ALL of their time and attention, because kids do some of their best learning on their own. But parents must also understand that learning about social norms is a direct result of the TYPE of attention they give their child.

      There are parents out there whose own fears rub off on their kids to the point that the kids are afraid of dirt and grass. Really.

      Children need boundaries and love. When parents do not give them that, it’s not the kid’s fault that they act like little shits…it’s the parent’s fault. Blame them. 🙂

    • DrPretzel says:

      Btw, caffeine is GOOD. Seriously. Kind of. Maybe. Or not.

      Hell, nobody seems to know.

      Does it mean anything if I say that *I* think it’s good? Don’t take away my coffee, dammit. It’s the only vice I’ve got left!

      Citation: http://www.m.webmd.com/food-recipes/features/coffee-new-health-food

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